1. Worry about things that can’t be changed

We often spend too much time thinking about the past, brooding over it. This is called rumination. There are two types of worry; hypothetical and practical. The hypothetical one is pointless, the ‘what ifs’ cannot be changed. However, the practical worry, is one that teaches us something. We can use it to problem-solve. It can be used to take control of the way that you think and behave when something doesn’t go our way.

2. Give up on things when they are too hard

Throwing the towel in, giving up before the race starts, we call it many things but essentially it is backing down when things become too hard. This is one that I have struggled with and is a challenge. The secret is, that by not giving up on yourself you give yourself a boost of confidence.

3. Set attainable goals

Unhappy people are prone to setting themselves unattainable goals, setting themselves up to fail, on purpose. Albeit subconsciously. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We predict that we are going to fail because we are. The goal has been set too high.

By setting yourself a realistic and attainable goal that you are more likely to achieve, it will make you believe in yourself that little bit more.

4. Focus on weaknesses

As human beings we focus on the negative and this includes focusing on our weaknesses rather than our strengths. By doing this you are feeding into the ibis of loathing.

As a Positive Psychology Coach, I am going to suggest that you take the following free online test that will identify your strengths. Unfortunately our society is driven by negativity, when an individual has an appraisal at work, it is not about when you have done well, but what you need to improve.

5. Stay in comfort zone

Unhappy people don’t take risks, not even small ones. Unfortunately boredom makes a person unhappy. Instead of being bored or/and unhappy make it your mission to take a step out of your comfort zone. Eat something you wouldn’t usually eat, go somewhere you haven’t been before.

6. Worry about what others think

If you said to me that you never think about what others think about you then, I would outright call you a liar. We are programmed to compare ourselves to others. Originally it would have been in order to keep your tribe safe. Now? It tends to be about having a bigger house than your neighbour or a job that pays more than your brother-in-law.

7. Isolate themselves

When things get tough it is very easy to withdraw, however spending time with others who care about us is a great way to feel better. It does, however, need to be the right people. Choose people who energise you, not drain you.

8. Avoid planning and organising

Feeling disorganised can leave you feeling in disarray. Organising or being in control of something even if as simple as reorganising a room can make you feel in control of your own life.

9. OK with settling

Individuals who are unhappy tend to stay within their comfort zones. This can be staying in an unhappy relationship or a job that you no longer love. By getting out of your comfort zone you will not only be taking control of your life but will be moving towards a life that is far removed from settling.

10. Egocentric

When an individual is depressed and/or unhappy, they tend to focus on themselves. This doesn’t mean that they don’t care about others, but sometimes when a person is stuck in the middle of their own misery they are unable to see anything else.